When given a second chance, does history repeat itself?

23 Mar

“If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you then it’s yours.” Why give a second chance if you know things will probably repeat themselves? Is it that you just had enough faith in that person to believe that they have changed? Is it that you wanted to believe the love was still there? Is it just comfortable to just go back to the old love because you’re tired of searching for new love? What is it? Yes I am asking the public, what is it?

Let’s break down each question according to my opinion and we will go ask you folks what you think it is!

Is it that you had enough faith in that person to believe that they have changed? Hmmm. Maybe you loved them so much and you knew that they wouldn’t dare try to go backwards and repeat the same things over again. Maybe you tried to suck up all the little stuff that still annoyed you but as people get older they progress right? What if both parties have not grown and only one has? When is it okay for you to approach this issue? Especially since you don’t want history to repeat itself? What if you decided to just keep your thoughts to yourself so you won’t begin the trend of history repeating itself?  What if the other party was just itching for it to go back to the old days? It was too good to be true. You just couldn’t be happy with the way things were. You had to find something to mess it up. So what does that mean? They never wanted it in the first place? It kind of just happened? If you didn’t want it and if you didn’t need it then why allow things to progress? Hmmm.

Is it that you wanted to believe the love was still there?

What if it is still there? What if it never really left, you just couldn’t handle the thought of wondering when it could go back to the way it once was? A HOT MESS! You couldn’t get passed the thought of wondering if that person could be different second time around. Is that enough to go on and progress together? The question of when will continue to pop up. When will this person decide to start treating me like crap? When will all the arguing start to happen? When will they no longer be happy with me and start looking for the next male or female? When will we stop communicating? When? When? When?

Is it just comfortable to just go back to the old love because you’re tired of searching for new love?

Oh man this is major moves right here! So many people do this and for all the wrong reasons. Not because they love this person but exactly what it says, because you’re tired of searching for new love. It’s comfortable. You put so much into a relationship for it not to work out. What if it were so serious and the thoughts of having babies and wedding bells were brought up? Then life happens and it fizzles out. These things no longer matter. What do you want to do? You just go back to the old because it is what you know? Or is it because you knew that this is where you should’ve been in the first place? You weren’t happy about something when you first left so why would you go back all over again? Again we go back to the first question. Jeez a constant circle.

What is your opinion about going back to an old beau? Do you think it’s something that should be forbidden because at the end of the day there’s someone for everyone? Would it be worth all of your energy to try and forget about everything that happened in the past and try again? Would it succeed? What should be the initial conversation when you do decide to start dating again? Should there be a conversation or should you just go with the flow?

Topic is up for discussion.

Always,

Nadie La La

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12 Responses to “When given a second chance, does history repeat itself?”

  1. lissa March 24, 2010 at 5:44 am #

    -I walked into this blog wondering the answers. I walk out with the soooo very many more questions that u had come up throughout. I now have more questions then b4!

    • princessnadielala March 24, 2010 at 12:18 pm #

      Lissa,

      I can understand what you mean when you say you had the answers and you came out with more questions. How do you think I felt writing it? I would like to know some of your questions so we can discuss it more. Maybe that can turn into a blog a little later. Thanks for ready baby girl!
      Luv

      Naddy

  2. supawumyn March 24, 2010 at 11:58 am #

    WOW dealing with my past history your blog just left me speechless. The thoughts in my head went around in circles. I questioned my thoughts and the thoughts of my past love. WOW. My heart fluttered while reading your thoughts. It’s almost as if you were reading my heart with your words. Sometimes it’s hard to think about going back to your past love especially if it was your first love that was lost. Moving on to another relationship? Well that’s a question for the beholder but as for me…… I can and never will see myself with another love. I can’t see anyone else holding me in their arms it just wouldn’t feel right, it wouldn’t feel comfortable, I would almost feel violated. I get chills just thinking about another man touching me. Life has taught me a lot of lessons. YOU CAN’T LOVE SOMEONE ELSE IF YOU DON’T LOVE YOURSELF. However being in love is a different kind of love that is such a joy but can you actually believe that another could be in love with you? Falling in love again with the same person can work itself out if both parties are willing but if not then move on even if it hurts like HELL!

    • princessnadielala March 24, 2010 at 12:32 pm #

      Supawumyn,

      I liked your conclusion when you say, “if both parties are willing but if not then move on even if it hurts like HELL”. Sometimes its easier to just move on because there were more bad situations than good. Sometimes its worth the second try because you know that the love you had is stronger than anything you’ve ever felt. But, a break can be helpful, yet we don’t know if it will work until you try it. Do you have enough confidence that that person has changed? That’s the next question. If I have had years of hurt and less happiness I wouldn’t want to try and fix it for a second time. But this can be the case for positive too. If I was happy and we just had major differences then that’s another reason to leave. Happiness is key to me in life. If I am not happy and everything else fell into place then thats a good enough reason for me to leave. Especially if the other party has failed to acknowledge this.
      As far a you not being able to love again… I am sure if you wanted to you could. You never know what is in stored for you. Just live your life day to day, that’s all you can pray for. If something else happens, as far as a new love, embrace it. Love comes in different forms it doesn’t always have to be the one that we want it to be but a little bit of love can go a long way.

      Thanks for reading.

      Nadie

  3. Talisha March 24, 2010 at 8:42 pm #

    No I don’t think it should be scratched out of america.
    Lol. I do feel that if the two parties decide to let’s make this work I feel that the cards should be laid on the table from jump. I feel u get the good with the bad cause things just might not change but at least u know u went about certain things a different way. Cause its like what’s the point if ur not going to go another route or if nothing was learned from the first route. Great topic keep it going chica.. Love you

    • princessnadielala March 25, 2010 at 9:44 am #

      Talisha,

      I agree with you when you say, “What’s the point if ur not going to go another route or if nothing was learned from the first route.” Why are we attempting to even make it work if you haven’t learned anything from before? Why sweat the idea of moving forward if all you want to do is hold me back? It is not worth the time and patience. Why create more stress for me when there are so many things going on in the life and times of your life? It’s not something that someone wants to deal with. Shouldn’t it be you and I are helping each other out along the way? Shouldn’t it be I am so happy we even decided to make this thing work once again, let’s take it to the top!?

      thanks for posting!

      Nadie

  4. supawumyn March 25, 2010 at 4:14 pm #

    Talisah I liked your comment “you get the good with the bad” If anyone walks into a relationship and expects it to be perfect……..like they portray in fantasy stories then you are in for a huge fall! Yes growing up we wanted I house, a daughter, a son and a dog with white picket fence but is that reality? Not at all. The pain mostly comes in a relationship when you are expected to have to same exact feelings or emotions as your partner. Each of us as individuals handle our emotions differently. Although couples are considered “one flesh” they are not a mirror reflection of each other. Working at any relationship in life takes work….. it’s not easy. It’s a 25 hour a day job. Each one has their own faults and flaws but what do we tend to watch, the faults and flaws or the positive qualities?We all have choices when it comes to rebuilding any relationship but again it’s up to each indivitual to make that decision.

  5. YaBoy March 26, 2010 at 6:06 pm #

    Let me start with the title! History always repeats itself… com’on!
    As normal human beings we want to give people and things a second chance. We focus on this thing because it was drawn to us and we take a liking to it or them. We get comfortable with this thing or a person and do not want to start over. People can not be changed so if they are use to cheating then that it was they are going to do. If they are use to mistreating people that is what they are going to do. They may stray from this behavior for a while but in the end will return to being who they are. Yes! You TAKE the good WITH the bad. I put the word take in there because you do not have to take anything. You have the choice of dealing or not dealing with this thing. Should one return to what they know?? That is up to that person… who cares what other people say or doing… you have to live your life! Other people are living the life for you, so what does it matter what people think about if you go back to an old boyfriend or girlfriend. As long as you are happy in the end is what matters.

  6. Mr. Jackson March 29, 2010 at 7:01 pm #

    Love is Great When it’s Known

    A lot of us have been in relationships and the person seems like our soulmate. The love that you shared, the vacations, the years of complacency, and the lack of all the things you truly thought you wanted. Sounds great, right!
    So let’s start with the love, you spent every minute together. He/she always said you were the most attractive person in the world. They saw you for you and nothing else. Your world evolved(not a typo u evolved into yourself) around this person and no one can come between this love. It is indescribable, I remember that love. This person has made you the person, you are today. Why do these perfect relationships end? I feel as human beings we look for more, we like having artificial excuses to leave and continue to evolve. Some of theses reasons:
    The sex wasn’t great!
    He/She never treated me right!
    I want someone I can grow with!
    He/She cheated on me! (you never caught them, Artificial!!!)
    I can continue, but I think you get the point. You just wanted to grow and evolve into your own person, which is perfectly fine. As human beings we tend to use another person faults as an excuse. I say all this to say! When given a second chance make sure you are going into this with fresh senses, and an open mind. A second chance is not for you to make what was wrong the first time, better. It is to start fresh and work on a different growth plan. History never repeats itself, people are always looking for change. The funny part is we as human beings are afraid of change (ex. How many times something changes at work and you are ready to quit or find a reason why you cannot change). Why do we feel that, it is ok, to throw change around (no pun intended) in a relationship. Especially if we are given a second chance! “Love is Great when it’s Known” we need to learn how to except the one’s we really love for their flaws and stop searching for the “Unknown”.

    Sometimes, I wish I had a second chance Nadie la la!

  7. Viraj September 20, 2010 at 11:36 am #

    I know it’s an old blog but I think this is the best one I am reading right now.

    Reason, 2 years back I was in mess because of a broken relationship and had lost my faith in love for ever but then a person came in my life and changed my life. She filled my heart with so much of love that I could have never got.

    Few months back due to our family problems I tried breaking up with her on mutual basis instead of fighting for our relationship and that time she fought for it and at end tried giving up her life for me. I understood my mistake and we got back together.

    Last 2 weeks same problem came again and this time again she fought with her parents and family for me and took insult and hate from them, I on the other hand instead of supporting her and comforting her fought with her again and she left me.

    Today after realizing my mistake I went back to her but she said that she no more believes in word Love and doesn’t want to be in relationship anymore. In fact she was comforted by one of her friends who is now close to her than me, Her best friend had also proposed her when we fought and she refused him saying that she doesn’t want to be with anyone still he is there with her supporting her.

    Knowing all this I still fought for our love and she is now ready to give me a second chance but she says that she cannot make decision right now and doesn’t know what her answer would be in future, she has fear that I may not change ever and also the guilt if she comes back to me how would her best friend would feel now.

    The reason I was reading this blog was to get support as to what I should do to change the things and I have learnt few things as well, As I write this all I want to do is change myself and pray that she realizes the same and comes back to me if she doesn’t and she falls for her best friend who has been there for her then I would take it as my mistake and live with that fact…

    It’s always easy to move on, there are many people you will find some1 or the other but to fight for your love and cherish it forever is something which is achieved by very few and I pray that our name is added in that very few…

    Viraj

  8. Calivia June 6, 2012 at 3:31 pm #

    Been there done that and it ended exactly like the first time. Exactly!!! I will never go back to the past again be it friend or lover. I do not like facebook or reunions. If they are not in your present they are meant to stay in the past. My present friends are my home now. Moving forward……

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  1. The 7×7 Link Award! « Lil Lady… Giant Brain - December 24, 2011

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