When you fall in love with someone, are you always in love with them forever? Part 2

10 Dec

I would like to make my next post a continuation of last week’s post and have some thoughts, opinions, view and/or visions from a readers comment. The analogy is priceless and I am sure some of you can appreciate one point from this comment, if not more. Here it goes:

“First of all – I think it is important to say that many today use the word love too quickly, which at times can water down its meaning. So, LOVE: Love is A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person according to the dictionary. The word ineffable means you can’t describe it – we call it being OPEN. The word solicitude means we have tender feelings and we care about the person. So at the core, these two words seem to be light-years away from each other. So, that says that there is a difference between loving someone and being IN LOVE with someone. I think when you love a person you can enjoy their company but still see and imagine life without them or with someone else. I think if you feel this way, you have that love that is defined as solicitude – because you care for them and want what is best for them – and may even have a hand in making that happen. On the other hand, if someone asks you do you love him/her? You say yes and start describing what you feel and them just get lost for words and start making up words to add to the dictionary because what your feeling is ineffable – hard to describe – then your IN LOVE. I think you can have one and graduate to the other – good or bad. I just finished reading a book that spoke of people coming in your life for a REASON – A SEASON AND A LIFETIME.  If we said that we loved persons from our past but we aren’t with them – then we need to find out the reason why. They may be a reason, or a season. Why should we find out?  – Because learning the answer can help you to avoid life always at the tail end of being a reason and to move on to a life time love.  I believe some reasons are we use the word love to quickly, when in fact, you just like the person because all the two of you do is have fun. Then when you have to start making some serious decision, you may not like how that person thinks, reasons or they may just not be responsible. Let’s not even go into sleeping with a person and getting ones vision and feelings all blurry.

Now you spoke of having memories, and thoughts of the good old times. I can’t say I have those about anyone. I believe putting all my love on the table – not fearing about being hurt, just putting it out there – if you cheat, or diss me – I’m cool with that because I can leave the relationship knowing I gave my all – and if I have done that – then you’re not worth my energy to look back on any old times.  I am trying to create new ones.  Me looking back means I left something undone – I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t have left etc.

For the ladies on here – if your man is constantly yelling at you – he don’t love you. If he is abusing you in any way – he don’t love you. If he is accusing you of cheating and you’re not doing anything – he don’t love you. Within love – these things don’t exist and when one has love for oneself – they don’t allow them to exist.  Ladies – stop shopping for men the way you do shoes. Yes I said it – you go to the store and you see some sexy shoes – and you wear a size 7 1/2 – and you ask for your size -and the clerk says – we only have those in a 7 or 8. You look at them and say – okay -bring both out I will see if they fit – I JUST LOVE THESE SHOES. The 8 is too big and just doesn’t fit. You try the 7 and it is tight, and you are walking in them, trying to see if they will stretch – and you just look in the mirror and say, “Damn these are some sexy shoes – I JUST LOVE THEM – box them up”  – knowing when you wear them to the club – they will hurt your feet so bad you’re going to call the Podiatrist the next morning.  Ladies – from the first moment you see the man or talk to A man and it just don’t feel right… don’t try to make him fit. Don’t spend no time walking around with him hoping he will stretch and come around – mean while he is hurting you. Sure – he may be sexy like those shoes – but if he is going to hurt you and break your heart and now you need to see the love doctor. What is the point?

 So all of that being said – I believe in love – but I believe in giving up that word…. slow. I like to interview my perspective mate. Ask a lot of questions. Before you meet them ask yourself, “What are those things I can’t live without? – “What, if anything, am I willing to compromise on?”  IN MY OPINION – THE KEY TO FINDING TRUE LOVE – NOT A REASON OR A SEASON – BUT THAT LIFE TIME LOVE – YOU MUST FIRST KNOW YOURSELF -AND KNOW WHAT YOU WANT -AND LOVE LIKE YOU NEVER BEEN HURT BEFORE. THE ONE AND ONLY MAGIC – CHECK THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE!”

 

So there you have it, now click the add comment button and let’s hear your thoughts!

Nadie La La

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4 Responses to “When you fall in love with someone, are you always in love with them forever? Part 2”

  1. Mini Monie December 10, 2010 at 7:36 pm #

    hmmm wow i dont even kno what 2say because u said it all. I agree with everything. Some people take the word love for granted. N i can honestly say attending the meetings and reading my bible i learned what true love is because God has that true love for us all. Another great 1.

  2. Aunt Christy December 10, 2010 at 11:29 pm #

    You never cease to amaze me. i love the analogy with the shoes. alot of females do try to fit guys into their lives knowing damn well he was never going to fit from the beginning. what females need to stop doing is settling for what is there and go after what you deserve. i also believe in loving someone and being in love with someone. now thats a story all on its own.

  3. Supawumyn December 11, 2010 at 8:37 pm #

    Wow you broke it down Miss Lady. Your illustration about the shoes being a right fit……..I have no words to explain how it works when it comes to finding love. We never want to “Make it fit” it should fit just right. Sometimes the fit is just right and then over the years they get worn out……..do we buy a new pair or do we re-soul the pair we have because it’s still a good fit? Break it down girl!!!

  4. kanene December 13, 2010 at 9:51 am #

    Dag Nadie! U got me again “love like u never been hurt before” that’s a daily battle for me! An I know you always tell me different. I love the shoe comparision!!! Its the truth a lot of signs an feelings we have in the begining with our mate we ignore or accept thinking it will change/stretch as you said!!! Good stuff nadie!

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