My Priorities Are Not Your Priorities

13 Jul

On two different occasions today, I had a conversation with some friends about what is going on all around us. So many of our peers are settling down, are engaged, soon they will be married, starting families, or just not hanging out with their same circle of friends. I feel like it is an epidemic but it is just this thing called life. At some point everyone wants to share their life with someone. Some start early others start later on in life. I keep hearing people say when it is my time it will happen. How about you start using conviction words? If you want it to happen, speak it into being. MAKE IT HAPPEN. Start hanging with the folks who are looking for the same things you are looking for. You can’t possibly be looking for a partner by hanging around someone who already has a partner. I know I am not interested in looking for a partner for my single friends; needless to say my partner isn’t having that. You’re an adult, if you want a special someone in your life, go out and get one.

However, there comes a time when you do start drifting away from you circle of friends. When I say drifting I mean your priorities change. There was a time when I would do anything for my friends. If they wanted to hang out I was there no matter what time it was. I wanted to be a great friend but I also wanted to be in a relationship more. I knew I was going to be married at 22 and a stay at home mom. So I did whatever I could to find that guy who was looking for the same things as I was. Then I turned 22, I was partying like a psycho and throwing back shots faster than anyone. Now I am 25 and my future couldn’t be brighter. I am looking forward to the things I mentioned earlier but I do know that some of my friends who are married, who have children, or expecting children have changed their priorities too. I can’t be mad at them for taking care of their priorities first. We no longer have all the same things in common, so they begin to seek those who do. It’s just natural to gravitate toward things of interest. My single friends won’t always understand when I cancel on them at the last minute because my partner wants to do something yet, my coupled friends would. If a mother or father has to take their child/children to the doctor due to something unexpected his or her friends will expect and understand that their priorities are their children and won’t ever get upset for taking care of what matters.  

I know as young adults we are trying to soak our feet into this American soil and finish school, start a career, and live life to the fullest. As I mentioned before, some start early and others are still grinding making footprints so they can be established before they even think about settling down and starting a family. Everyone is different and there is no set plan that you and I know about. We can only leave that up to one… our Creator. In The Bible, it says that God knew you before our parents even thought of having us. (Jeremiah 1:5) Just know that you have a life of prosperity and happiness ahead of you if you just trust in our Father in Heaven.

So tell me what do you think? Do you think your priorities change based upon different events in your life? Do you believe that you drift away from your friends without even realizing it based upon these priority changes?

Nadia

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11 Responses to “My Priorities Are Not Your Priorities”

  1. Gyllane Clark July 13, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

    Nadia these are True words spoken. Keep your priorities in order but NEVER forget your true friends, everyone isn’t dealt the same hand. Some true friends want to share in their friends happiness, while respecting and embracing the
    change. Love you much!

  2. nadie's man July 13, 2011 at 9:01 pm #

    That’s my baby! Very well written. I really believe that “you are who you are” but who “you are” sometimes conforms to your circumstances. For example, if you are partying one day and you later have a child you quickly begin to want to stop partying to tend to the needs of that child. Of course there’s scenarios where people just don’t get it and continue to live that way but for the most part your heart and mind begins to change due to your circumstances. If you don’t have that child and your lifestyle allows you to continue to party, you may very well continue. With that being said, I agree with you totally. Sometimes you want to “hang” with one crowd but your current lifestyle just doesn’t fit or better yet benefit from being around that crowd so you naturally drift away. When I first started playing ball, I played with people I felt I was as good as or a little better. It got to a point that I ended up being a lot better so I couldn’t play with them anymore. Those guys were good athletes and not bad people but I needed to play ball with I higher level of talent in order to get better myself. In order to challenge myself. That’s how life is sometimes. You have to ask yourself, how do I benefit from doing x,y and z. If you can’t find the benefits then…you may need to re-evaluate your choices. Good read. Loved it and I love you.

  3. Talisha July 13, 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    Let me start by saying that was a great topic. I absolutely feel that your priorities change due to the events in your life and just as you growing as a person. Usually it all starts towards your second to last year of high school where you start to see who your true friends are. I know for me I have people with positive energy around me. Who have goals for themselves who encourage and inspire me and push me to go for my goals. Why have negative energy and drama around you its like a tick. That energy can creep in some way some how. It is a true statement watch the company you keep. Also It depends on where the person is mentally. I feel there should be a level of respect between your friends and your relationship. If my friend tells me “Me and my hunny decided to have a date night” I am going to tell me friend to enjoy herself and that time to me that time is precious. That’s why when you find a True FriendS these are things you don’t have to discuss or worry about because you know that they are on the same page about things and they are there through it all no matter what. I am thankful to have the true friends in my life that I do.

  4. Yazmeen July 14, 2011 at 7:30 am #

    All I have to say is I really enjoyed this post because I was feeling like this at one point while I felt like some people I knew were looking at me differently but they didn’t understand that my priorities changed. Of course never would I say that a friend is not a priority but some things that I used to could do I can’t whether it’s because I know have a live in boyfriend or just because I have so many jobs going on. I feel like I have to struggle n feel bad for living my life and then at times I also feel like no one ever looks at them selves but I just appreciate this post because I can relate so much to it. Love ya girl!!!

  5. supawumyn July 14, 2011 at 7:52 am #

    I agree with you fully Nadia. However we can look at it from a different stand point. We can have been in a relationship where we were around our married friends because of the same relationship of being married. But sometimes things change, life changes, circumstances change. A couple can find themselves in a single status whether it be widowed, divorced, etc….. so what needs to be done? We need to seek out friends in the same situation as yourself and not try to maintain a relationship with your married friends (being the 3rd wheel). Now of course you love them dearly and they love you the same but now there is nothing in common as far as relationship status. Being or becoming single does have it’s ups and downs but making the best of will bring you much strength. Like you mentioned regarding our Creator…he knows all things and he will assist us in making the necessary adjustments to your new life by bring certain ones into your life. The scripture at 1 Corinthians 7:34a says of singleness: , the unmarried woman/man, and the virgin, is anxious for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in her body and in her spirit.
    So we have the confidence that if we put the Lord first, the kingdom first and continue to stay close to him in prayer we will be able to adjust to the new way of life that we are in or have been thrown into.

  6. haasflow July 14, 2011 at 11:56 am #

    This piece is dope, love the thought, the understanding. I would definitely say that situations, individuals and priorities do change. Change is good! A lot of people are afraid of Change. The thought to break from the everyday norm or just the normal habits we face in our daily endeavors are great. Sometimes things or situations go bad, its life. The good, the bad so to say. Embrace each with the same positive smile, problems and the sad moments become enjoyable how awkward that sounds but if you deal with the bad like one would do the good, then the bad isn’t so bad…lol if that makes any sense. I personally have been dealing with Change. Maturing and allowing my Grown Man to finally take I guess baby steps towards my goals and aspirations. Not Childish but Childlike…I know I cannot party like I love to and use to. I cannot over endulge in pointless relationships. I love what I do as far as my grind and my hobbies but I have to evolve and become the person I am destined to be. Whether that’s almost relative to whomever or whether its a different approach, we are all dope individuals with a purpose. Let’s work with purpose and drive. The inevitable is amazing. Realizing what’s right or wrong for you or whomever is the joy of life! Dope piece Nadia! Peace

  7. monika July 14, 2011 at 11:05 pm #

    yes i definitley agree 100%, it just apart of life. everything is in constant motion, people change,grow etc. love will keep a person close though. I feel like just because i dnt call someone everyday does not mean i love them any less. and like you said as you get older u have different priorities, and responsibilities. and i think everyone should always look for a chance to grow and learn new things.

  8. Twana Scott July 16, 2011 at 9:38 am #

    Very good read Nadia! I totally agree with you. Fact is, if a shift in your priorities doesn’t happen by the time you reach a certain time or age in life, it may be time to rethink where it is you want to be. Some of us are so stagnant in our comfort zone that we don’t allow ourselves to move forward. We stay shifting from side to side trying to find a new cold spot in the pillow. Association plays a huge role in setting priorities and keeping them. As you become an adult, your peers change. You’ve been in a committed relationship for a while and so you may not want to hang with the single ladies as often as before. After all, you don’t have the same priority to find a man and be married by 22! So spending more time with happily married couples makes sense. With that of course there has to be a balance. You’re still young so there is nothing wrong with just hanging with the girls. As women, we forget what it feels like to be pursued when you already have a man. That initial excitement of a hot guy wanting you! We miss the attention; maybe our man doesn’t compliment us, or look at us the way he did when it was still new. He doesn’t love u any less, its just that he has you now and so his work is done!
    I think it is very possible to have a genuine circle of friends and a man. Its ok to piss a few people in your circle off every now and than and sometimes very necessary. There is only one you and you cannot please everyone. As long as you surround yourself with people who have your best interest at heart, you wont be expected to ever compromise your priorities for them!

  9. anayarivenwood November 28, 2011 at 4:05 am #

    Totally true. Hubby and I were the first to settle down in our circle(s) of friends. The invites out soon dried up and we slowly drifted away from them. We moved on, making new friends whose lifestyles were similar to ours – jobs, mortgate, kids, etc. Now, as the kids have gotten older, these friendships are evolving – some drifting away, some becoming firmer. Like you say, it’s life.

    • princessnadielala November 28, 2011 at 5:34 pm #

      Thanks for reading! It’s a sad thing but a reality at the same time. I wish that I was close with some friends from the old days but they were glued to their way of life and I wanted more so it was for the better.

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