I was calling to inquire about the current rates at the mortgage office and the voice on the other end sent chills up my spine. It’s a voice I never thought I’d hear ever again. Yet, the distant offensive memories came back as if they just happened yesterday. Various words of abuse and cruelty resurrected, words like “I hate you”, “go cheat on me with that guy you work with”, or “I don’t even know why I am with you, you get on my nerves”, yet hours later I am graced with words like, “You’re the best thing that happened to me”, “I missed you all day”, or “Let’s go to Vegas and get married this weekend”. This all came to the forefront and on the other end I heard, “Hello? Hello?” Yet again the voice makes me cringe! All I can think about is him dragging me across the room on the night he got upset because I questioned him about his ex texting him all of a sudden. Him cursing me out repulsively because I kept questioning him about it for the last week; this was the supposed reason for him putting his hands on me.
Just the night before, I was awoken and asked, “What type of diamond I would like as an engagement ring.” “Hello? Hello?” again the vindictive voice rang in my ear and I respond, “Yes, I forgive you for ruining my inner peace and happiness for a very short period of time, I forgive you for putting your hands on me even though you deny doing it, you said “It wasn’t like I hit you” so that makes it better or less of an offense? I forgive you for breaking my heart into pieces yet giving me peace because I am FREE, I forgive you for the years of verbal abuse, the emotional abuse, and your kind words that you THOUGHT would make everything better, I forgive you for not stopping me from getting away from that poisonous relationship. Did you hear me? I forgive you. And I know I have peace and my heart no longer will remember you or those things because of MY Lord and Savior.” CALL ENDED.
Now I know I didn’t need to say any of these things because once I ask God for forgiveness I am forgiven. However, the time and place presented itself so he needed to know.
Here is an excerpt from a book that I’m writing called The Past is in the Past Enjoy!