Five Hour Disaster Flight

I told myself that I would enjoy my five hour flight to Phoenix and would refrain from talking about people but there is just too much to talk about. This blog will be me complaining with a few nice things to say but I am not having a good experience and it is only an hour and a half into my flight. Sigh.

First and foremost I said to my parental on the drive to the airport that I hate going to the airport because they always want to conduct a strip search and ask what color panties you are wearing. It is a huge issue of mine because I am always the one to get “randomly selected” to go to the left. Of course this happens yet again. Is it the way I look? Do I come off as sneaky? Don’t answer that. But I just want to know. So of course I am pulled to the side and asked to wait in this clear glass room with a glass door that I cannot get out of unless someone lets me out. AWESOME. Then this tall dude comes over and says, “This is the one?” Like really what does that even mean? I asked the tall dude to remove my scarf off of the security belt because if it got stuck I was going to get upset and it was yellow it would get dirty fast. So please help a girl out. Scarfs are becoming expensive. Any who, he collects my belongings, I go to the left, and he does a wipe and sniff of my shoes, then tries to make small talk about where I am going and why. I can’t. He then drops my carry-on on the floor and says, “You can go over there and get organized.” Now I am mad. That was it? A scratch and sniff of my shoes and I am done. Hello did they not go through the scanner already? I am puzzled.

So, I have about a half hour to wait until boarding starts and I noticed a baby. Now, I don’t mind the kiddies but I do mind when you can’t keep your kid under control. I just saw on the news a couple that was booted off their flight because they couldn’t keep their kiddie under control. So this is what comes to mind when I see the baby crying. Great, a five hour flight with a crying baby, did I mention that I was sleepy?

Let’s rewind a few days because I was debating on checking in luggage or carrying on luggage and I didn’t like the fact that I wouldn’t be comfortable while waiting so I decided to check in luggage and pay the $25 fee each way. Thank God I did because as we are boarding they tell the last 25 rows that there is no more room and if you have a carry on you must check it in. Awesome. I have some peace of mind because now I don’t have to worry about them losing my luggage when I didn’t want to check in luggage in the first place.

Now we’re on the plane, I notice that I can’t even enjoy my five hour flight with a little television without paying $7.99 for this free feature, which is usually included in the price of the flight. Then I notice two little boys getting closer and closer to my area and wow what do you know? They sit right behind me. Awesome!  All of a sudden this is Toys R Us and I see action figures, cars, and trucks. I start hearing little boy noises while playing with these items as they began to kick my chair. Great. Now the baby starts crying. I can’t win. I am sure the nice lady sitting next to me is upset too because she keeps looking back at these kids who don’t speak English and their parentals aren’t saying anything to them. Why?????????? I should have taken the $300 they offered me when I checked in. I can’t wait until I am on the ground again to upload this blog. It would actually ease my frustration a little.

Oh I forgot to mention, there is a giant sitting in front of me who keeps moving and his seat keeps bumping my laptop. Dude relax, you aren’t going to be as comfortable as you are on your couch. This is a small airplane seat and, oh snap, I just saw blonde hair and a scrunchi it’s a woman!!!!!! LOL Why is this happening? I can’t deal with the seat kicking. Do you think this red button at the top of my seat will help? Maybe the flight attendant can assist and tell these kiddies to stop kicking my chair. Three hours left.

Well I was border line starving, I had a bowl of cereal and a granola bar before the flight and I was very hungry and gave in to purchasing a $9 “snack box” filled with crackers from like three different countries, a cheese spread, almonds, and my fave, olives, as previously noted, I was actually pretty happy because of the olives. The noise and seat kicking didn’t offend me as much…until I was done.

Oh the joys of flying coach.