“People are our sunshine, our soil, our rain. When are we going to stop surviving off of people and start living for ourselves?”
– Nadia A
I wrote this quote in the middle of my notes during my Psych class this evening. We were learning about personality and I wondered when will I ever start living for myself? As long as I can remember I’ve always put someone else before me. I can’t say that is necessarily a negative trait but I don’t see much positive in it either. I allow others to “change” me for the time being. I am so wrapped up in being who they want me to be that I forget to be me. Whoever that person may be is an amazing person… before the change. That is who I need to become all the time. I do not want to be that wife and mother (one day) who starts living her life once her kids are ready for college. I am sure I wrote this in a blog post before but for some reason it sticks this time. I am a habitual thinker who is extremely observant and a genius in my own right. Who isn’t? I won’t say that my mind and the way it works is a negative trait because it is something God gave me yet how I use it… well that’s another story. I am learning and unlearning at the same time. Change can only happen if I want it to. One cannot allow another to change them if they are not ready to be changed. I want to change me and someone else may not agree with that change but the people who are supposed to be in my life will embrace the change and accept me for who I am.
This is a new season! I have a new outlook on life and what it means to truly be me and I am looking forward to tomorrow… you should too.
“Inside of every woman lives a needy little girl wanting to feel pretty, loved, secure. Expose her to her imperfections, toy with her desire to feel loved, rattle her sense of security, and you bring that needy little girl to the surface.” – Steven James
“…Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself.”
Love…it’s truly under rated and if love is love why do you always end up getting hurt?
Before. During. After. It’s just a constant mental battle that forces you to …borderline insane. How much is love really worth?
Is it worth the tears on the pillow? Is it worth never ending headaches? Is it worth being secluded from the world? Is it worth hunger? Is it worth the thoughts of constant evil thoughts running through your head? Is it worth this? All for love?
What one dreams of becoming when they are stuck in a teenage flung. What one dreams of when they are young. Big house. Picket fence. Dog. Kids. It is worth all this and its just love?
Love starts off heavy and intense with strong words from another existance. Words that sound the sweetest but today if you heard it you’d wonder if this is really coming from the meanest.
Love is never ending.
Love can start from the floor and to the highest where the birds soar but all of this can mean nothing if your heart wasn’t like a door.
Opening and closing, allowing what you want in and keeping what you want out.
I say all of this because I want to scream and shout.
I am in love!!!! And I can tell you what love is.
But what it may mean to me could be simply a cup of blossoming tea.
That doesn’t stop me from being in love because my love is not the same as your love.
(This WordPress app on my phone doesn’t let me break up the sentences the way I would like so sorry. Hope you enjoyed)
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“The three A’s of cherishing a woman are: attention, affection, and appreciation. Neglect destroys a woman’s spirit.”
– Rabbi Dov Heller